(Why Women Shouldn’t Stress About Not Being ‘Tight’)
I’m getting sick of the following myth: “Women who have too much sex/use sex toys have loose vaginas”.
Speaking as both the daughter of a gynecologist, plus somebody who has worked at the Women’s and Children’s Hospital for a year (and, oh yes, I have a vagina) allow me to educate you a little. The vagina is comprised of four walls – in it’s natural state, these four walls press against each other in a letter ‘H’ shape. When aroused (or in labor) the four walls relax and lubricate to accommodate the object within, whether it’s a penis, a sex toy or a ten-pound baby.
Now, I can see how a tight letter ‘H’ vagina might feel good from a male standpoint. But think of it this way: if your sexual partner is dry and tight, that doesn’t mean you’re a stud who’s managed to ‘get one of the good, non-slutty ones’. It actually means your partner isn’t as comfortable or aroused as she’s supposed to be.
Of course, it’s perfectly normal for young, inexperienced women to be a bit nervous and therefore tight during their first few sexual experiences, since fear and tension will prevent total relaxation of the vaginal walls. I suppose some men might enjoy the notion of having a terrified partner, but I’m afraid I’m not qualified to give those men the ‘help’ they clearly need.
That being said, tightness doesn’t always indicate fear or lowered arousal. The vagina is a muscle, and (like all muscles) becomes more effective when exercised regularly. Women who are experienced with their bodies and their own sexuality will naturally find it easier to exercise their inner muscles during sexual stimulation, and this may result in them feeling ‘nice and tight’.
Given this information, there’s really only one logical reason why a woman would feel ‘loose’ to a man: she’s experienced and confident enough to not be scared of sex, but whatever’s going on between her legs isn’t really doing it for her.
So, ladies. Don’t abstain from having a healthy sex life, or from treating yourself to a new vibrator. It won’t damage your goods. If anything, it’ll make them stronger and healthier!
And if in the future, you overhear some man sniggering about ‘loose women’, just smile sweetly and point out that often, vaginal looseness says way more about what he’s like in bed than it does about her.
By: Katherine Matthews