It’s no secret that we will all encounter other people we find attractive- and we will look. It is only natural to look at someone who appeals to you and there is no need to feel guilty about it, for it is in no way being unfaithful or unloving to your partner.
But what if you have a partner who is constantly checking other people out? Is there such thing as looking “too much”? Is it disrespectful to you and the relationship?
While finding other people attractive is normal and part of human nature, there is a way to go about it and not go about it. When a person is on his or her own, he or she can feel more free about looking at someone else, without worrying about anyone feeling hurt by it. When one is with their partner however, it would be best to try and be discreet about checking someone else out. A quick glance is harmless, but if a partner is checking someone out in a way that is in the form of staring, exchanging smiles or undressing them with his or her eyes, it then become disrespectful their partner and the relationship. This can make their partner feel hurt, upset, disrespected and even unattractive- which can unnecessarily lower their self-esteem.
When a Wandering Eye becomes a real problem…
Checking other people out is usually harmless if done casually every now and then. It can become a real problem when it is done constantly though. If your partner is more occupied checking other people out rather than focusing on his or her time with you and admiring you, then it could be a sign that your partner is losing interest in the relationship and you should start paying attention to other signs and behaviours that can help you figure out what is really going on.
What you should do about it…
If you have a partner with a wandering eye and are tired of it, then it is time for communication! There is no shame in letting your partner know that you feel hurt and upset by his or her behaviour. After all, a relationship is about being open and honest with each other and your partner should care about your feelings and want to make you happy. This is not about you being immaturely jealous either- it is about you claiming the respect you feel you deserve from your partner (the same kind of respect you partner would expect from you). So let your partner know that his or her constant wandering eye is upsetting you and makes you feel disrespected and you are not okay with it. If your partner truly cares, then he or she will make a real effort to stop checking other’s out in front of you, or at least keep it under real control so you do not feel so disrespected. If the wandering eye continues after you pour your heart out about it, then your partner has shown you how important your feelings are to him or her and you should then decide if you wish to continue putting up with it or not.